Sorting Life out

Its been almost a month since I last blogged .. Its the sad story of my life but i keep saying from now on I'll blog regularly but I end up not blogging for ages, I cannot remember when I became a procrastinator , but I think began ome time after my 18th b'day.. But when it began is immatireal the point is that it must end. I am no longer willing to just let my life slide away fom me, I want to be back in control.. The hardest part fo me is admitting that I lost control in the first place. (Takes a deep breath). I do not know who will see this but heres the truth for the lastfew months other than my studie I 've pretty much just floated along like a ship lost at Sea.. anyone looking at this blog will propably realise that. I mean a simple example . my blog content keeps jumping from tech related stuff to my crazy mutterings about life. I think I wuill continue in this vein but mostly I'll stick tothe crazy happenings in my life. I will start a seperate blog that will deal with my experiance in learning ruby and my other adventures in the relam of programming.

Essentially what I'm trying to do here through all this is sort out my plan for life. because I can no longer simply stand by and dream. Nor can i stand stil in because I fear failing top achieve my dreams. What do I WANT TO BE?? i want to be several things some of them connected to each other some not . THE time has come to decide what I want to be, I have not figured it all out but there are several things that I have decided.

1. I want to program

• So I want to learn ruby and java
• And be familiar with several programming languages

2. I want to build software solutions
3. Start my own IT Firm and build it into something meaningful
4. This may sound cliche but I would like to change the world for the better

There was a time I was scared to tell people this fearing ridicule.. But now i think laugh if you want but its my dream and my life and I will pursue it come hellfire or frost. Big word I know, B but I believe I have it in me to succeed.. All of us do self belief is the most powerful thing we human beings posses sadly From personal experiance I can tell you its is the last thing we draw upon.
But no longer will I let mysefl be brought down by lack of Self belief.